Notice I said "released." Yes, I was let go (one of two dozen that week) and, yes, I was surprised. However, I did feel released as I drove home that day. My position hadn't been quite a comfortable fit for a while, and I had been trying to figure out how to fix that. Being released with a (fair) package meant I could now pursue other things.
Of course, I had no idea that three weeks later my youngest sister would enter the hospital having learned her breast cancer had metastasized into her lungs. So whatever sense of release I had was immediately kicked aside and replaced with the worry and pain and joy of spending time with Irene, our sister Shelagh, and her husband Vrej.
When one door closes, another opens, as the saying goes. I was released so I could spend almost every one of Irene's last days with her.
Since Irene's passing, though, I've been trying to regain that sense of release and opportunity I initially felt that November day. That feeling had also been tempered by my time with Irene: I knew I wanted a to live a different life.
One joyous outcome of the three sisters spending time together was our renewed pleasure in knitting. Shelagh and I spent so much time together that a plan was hatched: selling our knitting. We talked about it with Irene, too. (We wrote about it in our first post.) Since then, we have loved every minute of figuring out our business and spending time together.
But something else was pressing on me. Something I had been talking about for a few months before November 2013. Becoming a yoga teacher.
I had a wonderful personal trainer named Kat. She helped me get into shape and she also taught yoga at my gym. Through our many sessions, I grew to love her knowledge, her passion, and her personalized care of me. I knew I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. She told me about her yoga teacher and urged me to contact her. So this summer I did. And I was accepted into the Fall yoga teacher training class.
I have been attending class--and trying to keep up with the reading!--since early October. I love every class: Ruth is an amazing teacher. I am struggling to get back into student mode--I haven't studied in about 30 years! But I am so happy when I am in that class.
So how to thank Kat for helping me, leading me to this next stage? Well, she asked me for some yoga socks, so that's what I am making. Yoga socks are the perfect combination of two things I love to do.
Now this is not easy: I had tried my hand at making yoga socks earlier this year but didn't enjoy making them: 3.25 mm needles are not the size I like. After looking for other patterns, I finally decided to make up my own using 5 mm needles. And they look pretty darn good if I do say so myself. Sure, I know where I purled instead of knitted one stitch. And I should have started decreasing the K2 P2 to K1 P1 over more stitches. So, yes, they are less than perfect.
But so am I.
And the pattern is a work in progress.
But so am I.
However, they are being knit with love and thoughts of blessings for Kat.
And I am working on sending myself love and blessings. But today, I will mourn--and acknowledge my feelings about--that closed door. Tomorrow, I will walk wholeheartedly through the newly opened one.
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